Mojo on Vacation
by LaJolieArtiste
Summary: Joanne surprises Maureen with a vacation to Florida. Much craziness ensues including a visit from Joanne's parents, Maureen getting a sunburn, and a motorcycle ride to the airport. Very cute, funny, and fluffy. Rated T because RENT.
1. Prologue

Prologue

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 **Hello all! I just wanna mention that this story is going to be heavily based around my own experiences on vacation because why the heck not? And without further** **adieu** **...**

Maureen had just done something a little bit out there, and uncalled for which wasn't particularly unusual for her. The drama queen had just auditioned for the role of Elphaba in Wicked on Broadway. She had been preparing her audition for weeks, and she felt as though she had nailed it. Now all that was left to do was come home to her girlfriend of 3 years, Joanne Jefferson.

"Pooooookieeee! I'm Homeeeeee!" Maureen sung as she flounced into their apartment.

"Hey Honeybear!" Joanne answered getting up from the couch in a much more chipper tone than she normally ever would. "How was your audition?"

Maureen was confused - normally her lawyer girlfriend was exhausted after a long day of work. Maureen eyed her skeptically "what's going on pookie, you're never like this. Also, I totally nailed it! I'm just not looking forward to waiting for the callbacks list."

Joanne grinned "I have a surprise for you!" she squealed almost out of character, and pulled an envelope out of her back pocket. The lawyer thrust the envelope towards Maureen. "This should take your mind off of the theatre!"

Maureen raised an eyebrow. "This isn't one of those live snake egg pranks, is it?" This was exactly the kind of trick that the diva KNEW her girlfriend would try to play on her.

Joanne laughed "No, it's much better, I promise."

Maureen shrugged, and cautiously opened the mysterious envelope. She pulled out two tickets - airline tickets with the destination of Ft Myers, Florida. The drama queen gasped and threw the tickets in the air squealing. "No WAY we're going on VACATION together, Pookie? You could never get time off! This is so amazing, we get to spend time together!"

In her excitement, Maureen knocked Joanne off of her feet in a tackle-like hug and started making out with her. Joanne appreciated the attention, smiling into her girlfriend's kisses.

"Maureen?" Joanne gently ended the affection. "Don't you want to know where we're going? And when?"

The diva helped her girlfriend up "Of course I would!"

"Well," Joanne started leading the drama queen to her computer "It's an island called Sanibel and I used to go there every year with my family when I was a kid." She clicked a few different buttons and pulled up images quickly. "Here's the condo complex that we're staying at! It's called Blind Pass and it's beautiful!"

She scrolled through images of a kidney-shaped pool, beautifully decorated units, a bayou, and a beach with a beautiful sunset. Joanne pulled up a map of the island and zoomed in to Blind Pass Condos. "See? Here's the condos, and here's the bridge over the bayou! And THAT is the beach! OOO and you can find amazing shells there and -"

Maureen cut her off. "Jo, it looks amazing, I can't wait to go with you." And she kissed Joanne again.

Joanne smiled. "Mo, there's something that I forgot to mention to you," Maureen perked up "we leave tomorrow morning."

The drama queen's eyes lit up. "OO that means I gotta go pack!" She dashed off to their bedroom and Joanne almost immediately saw random articles of clothing flying through the air like a cartoon.

"Please don't make a giant mess in there, Mo! And where did those tickets end up?"

 **How was it? This is my first fanfiction so go easy on me! Please review and let me know you're out there! Shmanks!**


	2. Chapter 1: The Airport

Chapter 1.

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The sun had risen over the New York skyline and all was calm and peaceful in Joanne and Maureen's apartment. It was 8:30 am, and a sleepy Joanne awoke. She sat up, stretched, and glanced over at the clock lazily.

"Eight thirty…" she mumbled not thinking about it. "Wait, EIGHT THIRTY!"

The mocha-colored woman shot up and began shaking, and yelling at her girlfriend who was still a snooze. "Maureen wake up! Our alarm was supposed to go off half an hour ago and we're gonna miss our flight!"

"Who ate all of the chocolate cake?" Maureen asked just barely awake. "Oh hey baby what's happening?" Joanne, who was already fed up, groaned, and facepalmed. Maureen then glanced at the clock. "Shit! Joanne it's 8:30!" She leapt out of bed, and frantically pulled on some clothes.

Joanne followed suit. Thankfully, both had packed their carry-on suitcases during the prior evening. "Maureen, don't bother with makeup or anything I'm gonna call a cab! It's faster than if we try to drive to the airport!"

Maureen stuck her head out of the bathroom, eyeliner in hand. "Didn't you pay for park shuttle and fly?"

"Yes, but it's ok, all that I care about is not missing the flight."

Maureen smiled "We can take my motorcycle! Now that's fast!"

"Honeybear, that's a bad idea on so many levels. First of all, It's more dangerous than driving, second of all, how on earth would we get our luggage on that thing?"

"We strap it to the back, c'mon Pookie, we've been together for 3 years and I've never gotten you on my motorcycle."

Joanne sighed "Maureen, now is not the time for trying to get me to ride the motorcycle."

"Pookie that is NOT what this is about, I honestly think it'll be faster."

Although Maureen's smile had a guilty look about it, Joanne decided to go along with her because they had no time for arguing at that point. Their flight was supposed to leave at 10:15, and with New York traffic, and the airport being all the way across the city, chances were slim of them actually making it.

"Fine. We can take the motorcycle."

Maureen literally jumped for joy "Joanne you're the best Pookie ever!"

The lawyer rolled her eyes but smiled endearingly. "Maureen, you do realize that I am waiting for you, right? What did I say about not bothering with makeup?"

Maureen (again) poked her head out of the bathroom, this time with a makeup brush in her hands. "What? I like to look my best!"

Five minutes later, the couple came out of the elevator, luggage in hand in the parking garage below their apartment building. "See Jo? All we have to do is use these thingys to strap our bags to the back!"

Joanne chuckled "You mean bungie chords? And that's risky. What if it falls off? You know something will, with our luck."

"Pfft, it wont. And we'll get there faster! C'mon Pookie, don't you trust me?"

The mocha-colored woman let out a big nervous sigh. "Fine. I trust you."

Maureen smiled. "Ok just keep in mind, stay straight upright, if we turn, don't try to compensate because it'll throw us off ok?" Joanne smiled nervously, and nodded her head.

The pair securely strapped the two suitcases the the back of Maureen's motorcycle, and hopped on - Joanne holding on to her girlfriend for dear life. "Joanne! Not so tight! I can barely breathe!"

"Sorry, Honeybear!" Maureen started driving towards the exit of the garage, and her girlfriend was still uncomfortable, but she hung on. Maureen had been motorcycling since high school, and she was in good hands. They turned out of the garage, and Joanne clung to Maureen slightly more trying not to overcompensate. Both were glad when the luggage didn't immediately fly off of the bike.

Maureen got going down the crowded city street at around 25 miles per hour, and Joanne decided it was best to close her eyes. They continued on without too much of a problem for a couple of minutes, but when they turned on to Avenue Q, there was a traffic jam.

Maureen grinned wickedly, and began weaving through cars, horns started sounding. "MAUREEN THIS IS VERY DANGEROUS!" Joanne cried from behind.

"Don't worry baby, I got this!" and the diva continued on. Horns began to sound, but Maureen kept going. The clock was ticking and she knew that they needed to get to the airport in time.

Joanne, on the other hand was nowhere near as confident. She was fairly certain that this was the end and all she could do was hang on to the drama-queen for dear life and hope that Maureen would get them through.

Things were going decently, until the wind caught the travel tag on the zipper of the front pouch of Joanne's suitcase. The compartment opened up just enough for a pair of underwear to come flying out. It happened to be the one and only thong that Joanne owned which Maureen had begged her to bring.

The thong flew through the breeze and landed on the windshield of a limousine that was cruising along casually. The horn honked and there was an audible "HEY!"

Joanne looked behind her, and noticed what was going on. More pairs of underwear started floating out from her suitcase but there was nothing that she could do. "Maureen, my pouch opened up! My underwear is flying everywhere!"

It took a lot for the diva not to look and see the spectacle, but she couldn't help but laugh. Thankfully, they were almost to the airport. Joanne just kept clinging to Maureen for the rest of the way, and before long, they pulled into the park shuttle, and fly lot.

Maureen stopped at the booth, dramatically pulled off her helmet letting her messy curls fly and said "the name's Jefferson. Oh, and Pookie, you can let go now, we're here."

"Huh? Oh. oops." Joanne let go, and took off her helmet.

The man working the booth was slightly taken aback at the scene, but he looked at his list and awkwardly said "Yes, of course, um your space is right over there."

Joanne got off of the motorcycle, and Maureen parked it. The man in the booth eyed Joanne and asked "Are the two of you-".

"Yep!" Joanne answered smiling like an idiot from the adrenaline rush.

"Ahh thats well, ok well the next shuttle will be here any time now, you might want to go and tell your… partner."

"Girlfriend." Joanne corrected and went to find Maureen. The two quickly zipped up Joanne's underwear pouch, took their bags, and boarded the shuttle. Once on, Maureen was fascinated with the seats which faced sideways.

"OOO Joanne check these out! We're gonna go sideways!"

"Mo, have you ever flown before?" Joanne raised an eyebrow.

"No, actually, My family always went on camping vacations when I was a kid. I hated it! Too many bugs! And bears! And the tent was so uncomfortable!"

Joanne chuckled. "Well, there aren't too many bears where we're going, but there's certainly plenty of bugs!" Maureen visibly cringed at that. "You'll barely notice them though, Sanibel Island is beautiful! And we'll have bug spray."

The rest of the ride to the airport was uneventful, and before long, they were going through security. Maureen was a little bit concerned, having never done it before. "Pookie, are they gonna make me take my clothes off or anything?"

"No Maureen, just be ready to show them your ticket and your driver's license and you'll be just fine. You will need to take off your shoes though. C'mon it's easy!" Joanne then noticed how long the line was. She groaned "Shit! Our flight leaves in half an hour! They'll start boarding the airplane in like 15 minutes!"

Maureen's eyes got wide. It was very rare for her girlfriend to swear, and when she did, things were going very wrong. "Will we make it?"

"I hope so."

They got in line. Thankfully, the TSA agents were moving people along relatively quickly, and the couple calmed down.

"Alright ladies, I just need to see your tickets and some form of identification." the agent said with a slight sense of urgency in her voice.

Maureen gave her her license and ticket, and she was scooted along to the metal detectors. Joanne, however was still hunting through her purse for her license. As the drama-queen was about to go through the detectors, she looked back to see why her girlfriend was taking so long, and shouted back to her "Joanne is everything alright?"

The lawyer shook her head. "I'm sorry Ma'am, but I can't seem to find my driver's license. I do have my business card though and it has my picture." The TSA agent looked it over and shook her head as well.

Maureen heard all of this and was getting anxious. "Ma'am please move through the metal detector." a male agent said calmly.

"Don't you Ma'am me, my girlfriend is having trouble! I need to help her look for her license!"

The agent looked annoyed. "We need to hurry you along, all of these people need to get through."

"It's alright Maureen, go ahead!" Joanne called to her.

Maureen pouted, but went through the metal detectors. She waited outside right outside though.

"Ok Ma'am, we're going to have to give you the pat-down, and search your baggage." The female agent took Joanne aside. The latter hoped that this would be quick.

Maureen was watching casually. All was going well until the agent searching Joanne's bag pulled out a vibrator and asked her what it was. It actually happened to belong to the diva, who was dying of laughter just outside of security.

Joanne gave her the famous 'that's not funny' look and told the agent, who then proceeded to turn it on, that it was a back massager.

A few minutes later, Joanne was waved along, and by then it was 10:10; just 5 minutes before their flight was scheduled to leave. Upon Joanne's release, she grabbed her bag, and Maureen's hand and the two of them started tearing through the airport terminal.

"Jo, what's our gate number?" Maureen asked frantically.

"It's G23! All the way at the end!"

In her haste, Maureen almost knocked over a stroller with a child inside. "HEY!" the mother shouted.

"So sorry!" Maureen yelled back.

The couple continued to sprint towards the gate. An announcement was made over the loudspeakers; "Last call for any passengers left to board flight number 220 to Ft Myers Florida! Last call!" Thankfully, Joanne and Maureen made it to the gate, gasping for air. They handed their tickets to the lady at the gate who was chuckling at the sight who scanned them, ad waved the pair on down the tunnel to the plane.

They boarded the plane, and Joanne ushered Maureen into the second row of seats. "THESE are our seats, Jo? They're first class!"

Joanne smiled "They sure are!" and she put their baggage into the overhead compartments.

"You're the best Pookie ever!" Maureen commented FAR too loudly.

 **That's all for now folks! I'll update this once a week for 5 weeks until I go on vacation myself! Please review! All who do will receive a virtual cookie!**


	3. Chapter 2 The Flight

Chapter 2. The Flight

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The airplane was taxiing to the runway behind a few other airplanes. Soon, it would take off and fly to Ft Myers, Florida.

Maureen and Joanne were settling into their seats talking about the vacation to come. "Joanne did you bring the crossword puzzles and pencils?" Maureen asked.

"Yep! Let me find them." Joanne pulled the small books out of her bag and handed one to her girlfriend. "I have to keep looking in my purse for my driver's license though, how will we get anywhere without me driving? You only have a motorcycle license." She began to rummage through her purse.

Maureen's expression turned to a devious smile "well, we could just rent a motorcycle! I could get us around easily!"

Joanne raised an eyebrow "No way, not after that ride to the airport…. wait…" the lawyer reached into her pant pocket and pulled out her lost driver's license. "...Wow. How dumb can I be?"

Maureen burst out laughing "Oh Pookie, you know that I do that sort of thing all the time! Remember that time when I couldn't find that one sex toy and -"

Joanne gasped and put her hand over Maureen's mouth noticing the glares, and shocked expressions coming from their fellow first-class passengers. "Maureen" she whispered, "we're in public! And first class!"

The diva just laughed "C'mon Jo! Have a little fun once and awhile! You worry far too much about what other people think of you!"

Joanne sighed in frustration, but then smiled at her girlfriend affectionately. That's really what she loved about Maureen - she was fun loving and never feared the opinions others.

Then, the plane turned on to the runway and began to speed up. Maureen tightened up and grasped at the arm rets of her seat. She shut her eyes. "Joanne, I've never flown before… and I have one major fear. HEIGHTS!"

The lawyer grabbed her girlfriend's hand and shushed her calmly. "It's alright Honeybear, the plane has to get to a certain speed so that it can lift off. And besides, millions of people fly every single day. Look! We're taking off!" Maureen opened her eyes and looked out of the window that she was sitting right next to. The plane was in mid-air by then and the feeling of going up made it more terrifying. "Shut your eyes if you need to, it helps. But I assure you that we're safe. Do you trust me?"

Maureen opened her eyes again to look at her girlfriend who was looking back at her in a calm, and supportive way. This calmed her down significantly. "Y-yes. Of course I do."

Joanne smiled, and her diva looked out the window, now newly fascinated. Look, Jo! It's all of New York! And hey I think I just saw the Statue of Liberty!"

"See, flying can be fun! And besides, once we get up to flying altitude, they'll bring champagne!"

Maureen's hazel-green eyes lit up, "Alcohol! For real?"

Joanne let out a groan realizing what she had just done.

About 15 minutes later, the airplane was at its cruising altitude of 30,000 feet above the ground. Maureen was nervous again, but she was doing her best not to show it, attempting to shift her focus to her crossword puzzles.

A flight attendant wheeled out a cart of alcoholic beverages. "Champagne?" she offered to Joanne and Maureen.

"Yes please! And by the way, I LOVE your lipstick!" Maureen happily accepted, and got a slight glare from Joanne for her comment to the pretty female flight attendant. She was given a relatively small plastic cup with champagne. "Thank you." the drama-queen immediately gulped it down.

"More?" asked the attendant whose name tag read 'Liz'.

"Yes please!" Maureen held out her cup, and Liz poured more in, which Maureen drank down even faster than the first one.

Liz smiled "just flag me down if you need anything." She winked at Maureen before disappearing to isles of seats further back in the plane.

"Maureen- " Joanne started in a hushed voice "why do you need to flirt with every woman we meet?"

"Oh calm down Pookie, I was just being friendly! Would you like me to be nasty with every woman we meet?"

Joanne sighed. "No its just…. She WINKED at you for crying out loud. And what's with all of the drinking?"

"It calms me down. Now chill out, we're going on vacation!"

The flight was relatively uneventful for the next half hour, and then Liz came back with more champagne, much to Joanne's dismay - and of course - Maureen could not pass up the alcohol. As she was drinking it down, the pilot came on to the loudspeaker, and said "Ladies and gentlemen, we're going into an area of high turbulence and we ask that all passengers buckle your seatbelts, and please don't leave your seats thank you."

Maureen and Joanne did just that, and the flight attendant had to go back to the front of the airplane to fasten down the cart, and sit down. "Joanne, what's turbulence?"

This caused the lawyer to laugh. "You really haven't flown before! It's when we go through a windy area and it rocks the airplane a little bit. It feels just like a bumpy road."

"Oh I see." The plane began to rock. "Pookie, I'm getting nervous… and a little nauseous too." Maureen clutched her abdomen and tried to will the feeling away.

"Oh no…" Joanne looked into the pouch in front of her behind the next seat and found a paper bag labeled 'motion discomfort'. "Here, just incase. We aren't allowed to get up right now to go the lavatory - it's not safe."

Maureen began to laugh "haha lavatory! Since when have you been so fancy about bathrooms miss ivy league? And look at what this bag says! Shouldn't it just be barf ba-" She started gagging. The other first class passengers looked over in slight disgust at this random bohemian woman who had been acting like an ape during the entire ride.

"Joanne I'm gonna -" and the diva hurled into the bag. It was a bad combination of nerves, alcohol, laughter, and turbulence.

All Joanne could do was put her hand on her girlfriend's back soothingly and wait for her to let it all out. The other passengers looked away to the best of their ability except for one little boy who was sitting with his mom in the next row forward who turned around to watch the action. "Look Mom, she's barfing!"

The boy's mother, who looked to be relatively wealthy turned the boy around immediately and gave him a talking to.

Maureen finished retching, and looked around frantically for something to wipe her mouth with. When she found nothing, Joanne pulled out a small pack of tissues from her purse. "Here, Honeybear."

Maureen took a tissue, cleaned up her mouth, and attempted to hand it back to her girlfriend who instinctively moved in the other direction in disgust. "Eww eww eww, Maureen! Put that in your…. motion discomfort bag." Embarrassed, the diva shoved it into her paper bag. "And please don't hand me the bag. Wait for the turbulence to end."

Soon enough, the plane flew out of the turbulent zone, and Liz came strolling back through with the cart. "Could you take this please, Miss?" Joanne took the bag from Maureen and shoved it at Liz.

"Oh… oh my.. Um yes I can do that." and she promptly took the bag into the flight attendant area at the front of the plane.

Joanne smiled to herself, that would keep the cute woman away from her girlfriend.

"Joanne! Why would you do that?" Maureen asked baffled at her behavior.

"We needed to get rid of it, right?" Maureen scoffed at the comment, and Joanne smirked to herself casually.

The rest of the flight was uneventful, and soon the plane was touching down in the city of Ft Myers. The pilot made an announcement "ladies and gentlemen we have successfully touched down in Ft Myers. The weather here is currently 80° bright and sunny! Because of the long runway, we will be taxiing for about 10 minutes. Thank you all for flying with us."

Joanne poked Maureen who had been listening to music. She removed an earbud and Joanne started pointing out the palm trees and the sky, and how beautiful it already was there.

"Wow Jo, it looks so cool here!" Maureen commented around five minutes into their conversation. Then she realized that the plane was still moving. "Wait" she asked Joanne "are they STILL trying to stop the plane?"

Joanne laughed at her girlfriend. "No honeybear, we're taxiing."

The diva tilted her head "Wait, what's taxiing?" And Joanne just let out a long, yet endearing sigh at Maureen's inexperience.

About 15 minutes later, the women had deplaned, and they were soon rolling their luggage through the airport. Ft Myers airport was pleasant, sunlight streamed through giant windows and much of it was painted white giving the whole place a very light, sunny feel. Joanne and Maureen rolled their luggage through the airport, down an escalator, and out of the automatic doors that lead to a street going parallel to the building with a large parking garage which was directly across it.

"C'mon Mo, let's get our rental car, and then we can go to the condo!" Joanne reached out her hand and locked it with Maureen's. They crossed the street, and found the right booth to get their car, which was Hertz.

"Hey Jo, want a hertz doughnut?" Maureen asked her girlfriend with a childlike smirk on her face.

"What?" Joanne had no idea what the drama-queen was up to, and then all of the sudden, she felt a light punch on her arm. "Ouch! Why-"

Maureen smirked again. "Hurts. Don't it?"

Joanne sighed, and the man working in the booth about ten feet away started laughing at the oddball couple.

"Hello ladies, how can I help you today?" He asked politely.

"Hi, I believe I booked the car under the name Jefferson?" Joanne answered.

"Yes, we do have a Jefferson booked today for a chevy cruze. Joanne?"

"Yep, thats me!"

"Alright miss, may I see your driver's license?" he asked.

Maureen started laughing remembering the events earlier. "Maureen, did I leave it in my pocket, or put it back in my purse?"

When the diva didn't remember, and the lawyer didn't have it in her pocket, the pair got a bit concerned. Thankfully, when Joanne pulled out her purse, she found the license in the front pouch, and handed it to the man in the booth, who looked it over, then handed it back to the mocha-skinned woman with a car key.

"Enjoy your vacation!" And the couple went to go and find their car. When they did, it was slightly disappointing that it was charcoal colored with black leather seats. It'd get hot in there with the tropical Florida sun, but at least the car was swanky looking. And clean as well.

They climbed in, set up the GPS and were on their way.

15 minutes later, Maureen and Joanne had left the airport and they drove down the streets of Ft Myers…

 **Unfortunately, I'm already late and I don't have time to write more but here it is! I didn't really expect to have a whole 2 chapters devoted to their travels but oh well. Hope you enjoyed and TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK. THANKS :)**


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